me on this earth in the universe
me on this earth in the universe
i try everything on this earth as long as i live.literally anything.like a bungee jump or wandering around the world for yrs or surfing or swimming in the sea or climbing mountains trekking or doing the casino etc…
i learnt my duty is living my life risking my life,betting my life.
i have to accomplish the purpose of my life,i have to live this previous life risking my life because this time might be the last time of living as a human.
i might not be born as a human again in afterlife forever,after the death of me at this previous life.so i live my life risking my life to accomplish the purpose of this previous life.
i try everything on this earth.i want to know everything.i choose to die as soon as i did everything on this earth.
this life might be the last time of my soul being a human in the chain of the samsara of my soul.
i wonder what i would be in after life.
what i learnt is i have to live my life always risking my life.
i abhor and disbelieve invisible things like the love or the friendship or the bonds.
i believe the theory and the logic.
what i learnt is this moment never comes back again.
this diary is only for me.
fortunately I was born without the disability,with 5 parts.i was born in the perfect form.my mother had a miscarriage before I was born.i haven't seen her grave yet.
I'm a student in the elementary school.
some people laugh at disabled people.
they are living to fulfill the purpose of their life.people who laugh at them have to repeat the cycle of the reincarnation till they purify the mind.
I wish people like that suffer in the hell forever.
they have to atone for a sin in the after life.
they have to repeat the cycle.
does the soul really exist?
I want to do everything on the earth by the death.
why I was born as a human in the year I was born?what was I in the former life?
karma definitely comes back around for what ive done.
silence is golden.
everything is made of the elementary particles.
I read all books on the earth.
I want to know everything of the universe.
I want to be a budda in this life because I don't want to repeat the same cycle again,i want to finish the cycle at this time.why I was born as a human is to realise the meaning of living and the life in the universe.
I stuff the information of this world asap and research the universe in the university.after the graduation saving money,i go around the world for yrs.
I accomplish the purpose of my life.
I just want to know the universe with this solar system consists from the elementary particles till I die.
I do literally anything to know this world,the truth.i do anything for that.
i'm one of elementary particles of this whole universe.
i just want to know the universe as much as i can till my life expectance ends in near future.
sadly i'm in a lot of karma for what i've done, the lust killing when i was 3-4yrs old and 9yrs old,whose victim is the ants,the pill-bug,the snake,the tree frog.
i'm wondering how much karma returns to me,or has it already finished?
everything on this earth is made of the elementary particles.
the human and the lives i killed are equal.
if i were them i must have been dying in the agony.
i hate myself so much.i'm sorry.
i don't budge an inch till i get attacked physically.that's the line.i attack that object physically at that moment.
not to die,i pay a full attention not to be killed because the person next to me might be the lust killer.
…still,the silence is golden.(￣ー￣)………still, keeping silent suits best to me.
i want to redo my life all over again to research about the elementary particles.
i was suddenly beaten up by the stranger when i was 9 yrs old.i could kill that person as a self-defense.i was a fool that i didn't realise it.i think my father had to tell me that but my patents are the human who is far from the science.they judge the world with the world of their head.
…that time if the chronological scientific tables were in my hand,i'd have gone to MIT.
i'm wondering what i can do for the future of the earth.while i live i'll know about the elementary particles,the birth of the universe as long as i live.(´-`)i can't get the answer yet.what i can do for the future of the earth…?
in my house there's no book about the science bc parents had no interest in it.
i want to kill myself in the childhood.while i was living comfortably people in the life-threatening environment in this earth were living desperately.many people died while i was living comfortably in my house.i wanted to get all medical licences to help people in the life-threatening environment.i want to work for the future of the earth.what i've been doing by this moment.i'm a total fool.so i help people need help in this earth and do something for the future of the earth.
i wonder why parents didn't tell me to do something for the future of the earth.i had to take an action for it asap in the childhood.i had to move for the future of the earth.for what i've been living?what i've been doing?…i stop thinking now.i take an action for the future of the earth.i do what i can do for the future of the earth.
to be honest i want to study for a year and get licenses and sublimate them into the activities for the future of the earth.
but the fact is what i am at this moment.i'm useless human now.that's the fact.…i wanted to get all medical licences and contribute to anything for the future of the earth.
what i've been doing ever since?
what i can do for people and animals in the life-threatening environment on this earth?do i only can make money and donate them for organisations?
what i've been doing by this moment?
i'm a trash.i want to help people and animals.i want to save the earth for the future.i wanted to be a doctor.
this earth is terrible.human in middle east and africa and asia and europe face the danger of lives at this moment whereas people in the contrasting environment ignoreand abandon these human.superpowers have to thin out these human except for people involved in science like the researchers or workers in the medical fields.this earth is terrible and insane.so-and-so nation must be attacked physically and bombed with atomic bombs in all cities.this nation is rotten to the death.
personally i consider it unnecessary to give a birth.it's only painful and very troublesome and unnecessary.and the baby is unnecessary.but i see people in the life-threatening environment drop baby frequently.i think it insane though they're having a lot troubles in living everyday.i think it's insane.so they have more troubles.it's insane.i don't need the baby because it's troublesome and painful and a nuisance.i'm only interested in myself.
it's insane and mad.i see it and think it's going insane.this certain nation is terrible and insane.but i only protect myself.
what can i do for the future of the earth?
i plan to start the monthly suppor that i care one child sending letters eachother.i study hard and teach that person about science.
i wonder what will be in the future of the earth…the number of the human is increasing much.it's over 7 billion now.how terrible.how insane.this earth is insane.what matters to me is how to survive for myself.
today i went to the museum of the fossils and the rocks and the minerals near my city.the scenery from the train was beautiful.i saw many rocks and fossils and minerals.they're interesting.i had a meal in the noon i made for myself in the morning,which were rice balls and a tea,were very delicious.after that i saw around there and visited many places and returned to my house.
it's very fun today.i bought the rocks and the fossils and the minerals.they're very interesting though they cost a bit expensive to me.
(￣ー￣)few days ago i saw a shooting star in the sky at night.its color was orange and red.it's very beautiful.i wish i can see the sky full of stars tonight.(´-`)i wish the certain nation drop dead.
what i've learnt ever since since i was born on this earth is most of human is a trifle and a trash.they're the scum of the earth.so top few human on this earth have to thin out the number of the human with the war.i wish the war starts as soon as possible in this certain nation.few elite have to thin out the fat number of the human.it's increased too much now.it's over 7 billion now.how insane.the number of the human is too much now.they have to thin out the human.the number of the human is too much as much as it of the roach.
i've realised i couldn't get to the start line to my duty.i'm powerless to the death.i'm a scum of the earth.i want to thin out the numbers of the human with the war.i like killing human i hate with atomic bombs or machine guns or nuclear weapon or land mine or torpedo etc.i want to thin out the human i don't like.they're unnecessary.they're scum of the earth.i wish warmongers attack this certain nation.
plus i wish bitches fuck easily and drop kids frequently drop dead.i wish they die.die!
i want to redo my life all over again.i want to return to the childhood.i want to help people and the animals need help in this earth.patents got no interest in science whereas i love science.somehow i went to the wrong route of my life.why?i want to redo my life all over again.